Five Tips to Support Those Who’ve Lost a Loved One in Service to our Country

There is greater significance to Memorial Day (May 30) than the start of the summer season. Memorial Day is a time to publicly show our respect for those who have lost their lives in defense of our country and to offer support to grieving loved ones.

As we mark Memorial Day this year, we are a country involved in conflicts abroad. The ongoing fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan continues to take a toll on our nation. Serious injuries and the untimely deaths of our brave service men and women remind us that life is precious.

Hospice and palliative care professionals – who help families cope with loss on a daily basis – share ideas on how to honor this sacrifice on Memorial Day and every day:

1. Acknowledge the day with a phone call or card to the family; tell a story you remember about the service member who has died and/or ask the family to share a story. Keeping their loved one’s memory alive is an important part of healthy grief and coping.

2. Offer to accompany or take the grieving person to the cemetery or other place of remembrance; people are sometimes reluctant to take advantage of such opportunities alone and will appreciate your thoughtfulness.

3. Make a donation in memory of the person who has died to a charity that was important to the service member or the family; this can be a powerful reminder to them that you remember and that you care.

4. Listen. Sometimes the greatest gift we can give is to listen to what others think and feel. Supporting those who are grieving can be as simple as lending an ear or holding a hand.

5. Acknowledge your own feelings; share the range of thoughts and emotions you experience with someone you trust, but not necessarily with the grieving family. Whether it is pride or shame, grief or hope, sharing these feelings is important.

Memorial Day can be a time to reach out to each other and share in our communal experience of grief and loss.

Your community hospice can be a source of information on grief and bereavement.Caring Connections, a program of the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization, also offers information on grief at caringinfo.org or by calling the HelpLine at 1-800-658-8898.

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Hospice and palliative care providers interested in learning how to address the unique needs of Veterans at the end of life, should learn more about We Honor Veterans, an pioneering program of NHPCO, in collaboration with the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA),that focuses on respectful inquiry, compassionate listening and grateful acknowledgment.

It's never too late to say 'thank you' to our nation's Veterans: even at the end of life

A Message from J. Donald Schumacher, PsyD
President/CEO
National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization

Americans across the country celebrate Veterans Day on November 11, a special day to salute the men and women who have bravely served our country in the military.

These fellow Americans have made profound sacrifices in defense of freedom and they deserve our heartfelt thanks and appreciation. Honoring our nation’s Veterans includes supporting them throughout their entire lives, especially at the end.

As our nation marks Veterans Day 2010, the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization deepens its commitment to increase Veterans’ access to the compassionate, high quality care available from the nation’s hospice and palliative care providers.

NHPCO has been a long-time supporter of the valuable work being done by the Department of Veterans Affairs to bring palliative care services to VA Medical Centers and the communities they serve.

This past month, NHPCO in collaboration with the VA, took a great step forward to help healthcare providers better serve Veterans at life’s end by launching the website www.WeHonorVeterans.org, the centerpiece of the new We Honor Veterans campaign. This campaign will help those who provide care at the end of life, better understand the unique needs of our nation’s Veterans.

But there is something that every American can do to honor and serve our Veterans – and that is to say, “thank you.” Not just on November 11 but all year long.

Ask your friends, neighbors, coworkers and others in your community whether they have served in the military (you may be surprised how many have)—and thank those who have served for their sacrifice.

A generation of World War II and Korean War Veterans are facing end-of-life care decisions now, and they are quickly being followed by younger Vietnam War Veterans, many of whom are confronting serious illnesses at an even earlier age.

It surprises many Americans to learn that every day, 1,800 Veterans die. That’s more than 680,000 Veterans every year – or 25 percent of all the people who die in this country annually.

The liberty that we, as US citizens, enjoy comes at a price paid by these valiant men and women. Let each of us make sure we do our part to recognize and support them throughout their lives.

If you know a Veteran who is in need of the special care hospice and palliative care brings to people facing serious and life-limiting illness, please reach out and help them learn more about care options. Information is available from NHPCO’s Caring Connections at www.caringinfo.org or by calling the HelpLine at 1-800-658-8898.

To all our nation’s Veterans, thank you.

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